We were somehow both up before our alarm went off at 3:15am and out the door at 4. Yikes. This time around, the UBCab app worked as it was intended. No last minute scams or traffic on the way to the airport, but he did drive painfully slow. Maybe he was tired. 45 minutes later, we arrived. There wasn’t much of a line to check in for our MIAT Mongolia Airlines flight to Beijing. Briefly, the ticket agent seemed to think she could get our bags to go all the way to Los Angeles, but was hesitant since we had a standby listing without an actual boarding pass to connect it to. We would therefore be collecting them in Beijing and coming back in through security as predicted.
It was mercifully a short flight in seats 17 E/F on MIAT’s 737-800. Nicole was convinced it was at least 30 years old since it was fitted with the very thick seats of yore. I assured her it was probably no more than 15 years old despite the old timey two-prong headphone jacks and a seat so upright, it was hurting my back. I nodded off a bit during the flight, but was hoping to sleep on the much longer one to Los Angeles, Buddha willing.
We arrived a bit early into Beijing, and were parked at the gate maybe a little after 8am — giving us (and this is important to remember) a FOUR HOUR LAYOVER. The People’s Republic of China has very particular rules about entry. And Bricole, everyone’s favorite celebrity couple, are very familiar with them. Pretty much everyone needs to have a visa, UNLESS (and there are many exceptions), you are transiting or staying within the usual city districts like Beijing, Shanghai, Chengdu etc. for less than 10 days. We just needed a 24 hour transit visa to get us to baggage claim and back in. In fact, this wasn’t even our first time attempting to get a transit visa at this very airport.
The problem with these types of visas is that nobody else ever seems to be getting them. Normal people get the full-page Chinese visa in their passports because they planned ahead as these take time to acquire through your embassy or consulate. We thought we were going to Korea up until two days ago, so that wasn’t really an option for us. So after waiting at a transit desk for nearly 30 minutes, we were told we were in the wrong spot. This isn’t really part of the main story, but we were waiting behind two young women with US passports who said they had lived in Mongolia for the last 3 years, but dodged Nicole’s question as to why. They were giving Christian missionary vibes or maybe it was just a cult. Anyway, we then got in the regular customs line after generating a QR code showing that we were requesting a 24 hour transit visa. After reaching the front of the queue, we were again told we were in the wrong spot.
It would appear that these visas are used or taken advantage of so seldomly, that the workers did not seem to be as well-versed in their own government’s policies. And yet, there was actually a customs checkpoint labeled “24-hour transit visa,” but every single one of the kiosks was closed. I felt like we were educating the employees on what we needed done and eventually after more than an hour of getting tossed between different desks, we finally got someone to open one of the customs kiosks for our transit visa. Even though the guy who showed up to help us was sitting at a desk that (to remind you all) said, “24-hour transit visa,” he was confused. He was like, “ah your flight is in 3 hours, you don’t have time.” Nicole was wondering how bad the other side and security could be for that statement to be uttered. I was thinking that along with everyone else, this guy still didn’t understand what we were doing. “I’ll give you 240 hour visa,” he stated with a smile on his face. So, it’s great that we now have 10 days in China, but we really just need to get to baggage claim.
This required a train. As we finally reached baggage claim, we immediately spotted our bags, doing laps around the carousel all lonesome. Bags in hand, we sped off toward the departures hall. At that very moment, United notified us via our phones that we had seats 12D/F and therefore boarding passes. No need to stop by the check-in counters. Next was security. They rifled through Nicole’s bag looking for a power bank that she does not possess. Her bag went through three times and was frankly violated until they eventually gave up and let her go. Poor Nicole.
Now back to the train. I thought that was it, but we had one last checkpoint for customs where they were probably confused by our 240 hour visa that was granted within the last hour. Nevertheless, the gate showed green and we proceeded. 2 hours and 15 minutes after getting off the plane, we had successfully reentered Terminal 3. Beijing’s Capital airport is giving London’s Heathrow a run for its money. We went to a priority pass lounge close to our gate, but it was airless, windowless, full of children, and with a distinct lack of bathrooms.
We then went to a different priority pass lounge which was much better. We felt like we could finally sit down for a minute, and maybe even use a restroom. I treated myself to a Tsingtao as reward for dealing with all this nonsense. It was warm. After about 20 minutes of catching our breath, we boarded the United 787. We had somehow sniped the last two seats in Polaris business. It would have been a $4900 ticket, and my tray table was full of orange dust. My United wipe was cleaning up a lot more grime and stains than I would have liked to have encountered in any seat or at any price point. The flight attendants seemed overwhelmed and impatient with some language issues with passengers. It was all kind of tense. Once airborne (20 minutes behind schedule without explanation), everyone seemed to calm down a bit and the atmosphere lightened. That Beijing airport will do that to you.
Shortly after departure, we got our drink and meal service. Every single option was crammed with dairy. While the sundae cart is a welcome return after all these years, I doubt they adhere to old Soviet methods of preparation, so I abstained. I was able to nod off for maybe a couple hours in my lie-flat seat until a combination of headache, congested sinuses, and an assault of coughing nearby prevented much further success. I know Boeing hyped the 787 as having the best air and all that, but personal experience with it over the years begs to differ.
Halfway into the flight, my tummy felt a bit off. Could it have been all of United’s weird ass food? The answer is yes. Nicole went to a different lav toward the front and also thought someone had diarrhea so clearly United is trying to take out everyone on this plane with spinach and ricotta cannelloni in a cream sauce. We both tried to get some more rest, but despite our level of exhaustion, it wouldn’t take. After about 12 hours in the air, we landed in Los Angeles, completing our two week journey around the planet. After global entry and getting a taxi, we were home around 10am. Reflections up next.
passports & pepto bismol 