This trip was . . .”unique” for lack of a better word. It was an adventure in contrasts. On one hand, we were stressed about almost losing our luggage, check-in counters closing in advance of flights that only go every few days, and nearly having a breakdown as hotels, flight availability, and rental cars vaporized before our very eyes — upending our trip. Furthermore, the hotels we stayed in often did not meet usual standards of cleanliness and would surely come with a warning in the state of California for having materials that would cause cancer. And yet, it is for those very reasons — infrequent flights, a lack of decent hotels, and an absolute lack of tourism infrastructure which paved the way for an experience which we did not have to share with other travelers. This was the real luxury even if we were experiencing it in the least luxurious way.
Last year during Nicole’s spring break, we visited Belize, along with thousands of other obnoxious Americans. I was jabbed in the chin by a 10 year old girl and kicked by numerous others while snorkeling. An ill family coughed all over me on a flight to San Pedro and subsequently got me sick. By the way, we never got sick from the Hawaiian flight to Pago Pago over a week ago. Contrary to the “research” done by the hard-hitting journalists over at Newsmax, it would appear that wearing masks do actually help in preventing the transfer of illness. Point being, there is such a thing as too many people and it’s hard to avoid that during spring break of all things.
I hope that our photos do some justice to the magnificent vistas we enjoyed during our stay in the Samoas. And then, at the end of each vista was a walk back to a hotel that may resemble a rundown Days Inn at best or lodging for the Peace Corps at worst. Our best meals of the trip were the ones we made for ourselves — except CPK and L&L back in Kapolei, but that goes without saying. All the food was just . . .wrong. Bananas that tasted of potatoes, pancakes that tasted like vanilla cake, pasta sauce flavored like an Indian curry, and beer that sometimes tasted like poison. The culinary scene is in its infancy.
Now Samoa itself is fairly well set for tourism even if the food isn’t on point. And yet, there was virtually no one there. Its busiest tourist attraction, the To Sua trench, had maybe a dozen people there. So if you wanted a tropical island paradise that was cheaper than French Polynesia and quieter than Hawaii or Fiji, Samoa is a pretty good option. We found our time there very relaxing. But, as you may recall from our initial flight issues, we spent most of our time on American Samoa, the other Samoa. Despite its close proximity to its western neighbor, AmSam comes up a day late (literally) and a dollar short.
I don’t think I can convey just how little is set up in the way of tourism infrastructure on AmSam. It’s like it hadn’t even crossed their mind that people might want to visit an exotic island in the South Pacific. Even at the two hotels, most of the guests were locals…for reasons we couldn’t entirely work out. It seems that the few tourists that AmSam does get are focused on hitting up the national park in a quest to visit all of America’s national parks. Anywhere else in the world, if you pulled up to Sadie’s By the Sea, you would say, “Oh no, we can’t stay here. The water pressure from the shower is worse than holding a bottle of water upside down with its cap still half screwed on. Let’s find another place.” But you can’t! There is only one other place to rest your head on the entire island and it seems to be frequently filled up for events and gatherings. But the Tradewinds Hotel near the Pago Pago airport looks like the Ritz Carlton compared to the offerings on Ofu island.
I don’t think many amongst our friends and family could have hacked the Vaoto Lodge. I didn’t even mention the giant cockroach that crawled out of a roll of toilet paper as Nicole reached for it or the spider as big as my palm just casually chilling on one of the walls. The level of filth in the kitchen would have shut down any restaurant 100 times over. Perhaps most shocking, the reviews for the lodge are actually really good. Our theory is that people are really reviewing the experience of the island, and less the fact that we were warned to not leave food scraps around because of the rats.
Ofu is desolate and beautiful. It is like the cover for a tropical beach calendar. And best of all, it is relatively untouched. With few flights and more bats than residents, it offers a truly unique experience that is rare in a time of travel influencers and overtourism. Yes, we had to cook our meals and the lodge was beat to hell, but even the simple act of driving Ben’s truck around the island made us feel connected to this place in a way that one can seldom feel on vacation.
To the casual observer, going to the Samoas may look like a fool’s errand — a waste of time and effort by a couple of travelers who surely must have seen too much in their lives that they’re now running out of decent places to visit. Not true at all. Of course, it was not without its stresses. I think our ability to adapt was commendable, and in some cases led to new discoveries. Had we not been forced to stay at Sadie’s, we would have likely never seen that part of the island at all. We got to see the national park visitor’s center, and dine twice at the island’s #1-rated restaurant while enjoying a view that was far from terrible.
The problems of our times are that few places in our world are untouched or authentic anymore. Anything that was once nice or beautiful is now overrun by tourism and social media influencers. But if a place is hard enough to get to, has terrible food, nonexistent cell service plans, and provides the most unglamorous lodging imaginable, it’s just enough of a deterrent to keep the worst kinds of people away. It’s certainly not a trip for everyone, but for those striving for absolute scenes without distraction, the Samoas are there for you. I’d say I hope they don’t change a thing, but that’s not true. The Vaoto Lodge in particular could at least use a few buckets of paint and a good cleaning. I suspect if anyone visits in the next decade, it will have changed. It will have gotten a little worse — a bit more rusty and dirty. But once everything starts getting nice is when AmSam will be ruined. Check it out before everyone else does. Bring some cleaning supplies, though.
passports & pepto bismol 