The Hampton Inn breakfast was an absolute menace. Children everywhere. Coughers: everywhere. Food: mediocre. Annoyed by people, we abandoned the breakfast buffet early and set out into the wilderness. We drove to nearby White Plains beach. There were numerous surfers out enjoying the waves whilst Bricole, everyone’s favorite celebrity couple, relaxed on a bench observing them from afar. Aircraft on the approach to HNL flew overhead reminding us of our day’s itinerary.
Before returning to the airport, we spent time in the vicinity of the Hampton Inn, by exploring the surrounding mall. I suppose the great irony in avoiding Waikiki, is that we were subject to an equal amount of commercialism, but without the crowds. We purchased some fun t-shirts at T&C Surf Co. with musubis on them. What fun! We also ended up eating lunch at the mall’s food court, with Nicole getting another pizza from CPK. Perhaps worthy of note: Nicole did not get her standard margherita pizza, but rather a “Hawaiian” one to adhere to the local culture. I had L&L, my old plate lunch staple from days of yore.
We checked out of the Hampton around 1pm, and drove to the airport. The rental car drop off is one of the few things that works efficiently at HNL. We had a long walk to Terminal 1 before security decided to apply itself inconsistently. I was allowed through without issue. Then Nicole was stopped before being allowed into the TSA area because (as the TSA agent said) she wasn’t in the system, but she was in the system as being on a flight to Fiji. It is perhaps worth noting that I had never listed us on a flight to Fiji, nor did it matter that she had a ticket in her hand indicating a destination of Pago Pago. After being stymied further by a ticket agent saying she needed onward travel (something that evidently wasn’t required of me), Nicole was sent to the non pre-check line despite a ticket that said she had pre-check. I have no idea why any of this happened other than TSA wanting to harass Nicole. Thanks, Trump. After twenty minutes, we were finally reunited and went to the Plumeria Lounge.
Poor Nicole attempted in vain to relax in the closed-in lounge while multiple people created a symphony of coughing around us. We left the lounge to sit on chairs just outside, where things were a lot quieter and calmer, and we could still access the club’s Wi-Fi. We eventually made our way over to gate A12, where a chorus of coughing continued prior to the boarding of the Hawaiian Airlines A330. As we took note of our future fellow passengers, we remarked that Samoans are not particularly petite individuals. We prepared ourselves to be in a Polynesian sandwich. When we were the very last to be issued seats, about ten minutes after the plane was scheduled to depart, we actually had an open seat next to us. Unfortunately, we were seated directly in front of two annoying children who coughed incessantly throughout the flight.
Nicole and I donned masks, but expect to come down with COVID, RSV, or bronchitis in a few days time. Optimistically, I told Nicole that maybe everyone is just a heavy smoker. Looking back at the seven year olds behind us, Nicole was skeptical. Kids grow up fast these days, right? The hacking of the youths turned out to be one of our smaller annoyances. As standby travelers, we typically don’t book hotels and other factors until we know for sure that we’ll get seats on the plane. As we searched hotels for the night on Pago Pago, we found that virtually none were available. Worse yet, the inter-island flights to Samoa from American Samoa were completely sold out for the next couple days, throwing a wrench in our original plans. They seemed plentiful a day or two ago. Alas, we had to adjust to the new reality — an extra day in Pago Pago, not known for its beauty and charm and one less day on Samoa. On the plus side, with one less night there, Nicole decided to splurge and got us an overwater bungalow. Silver linings?
About two hours into the flight, a screaming baby materialized behind us. Where was it before? Did someone just give birth? Then we got stereo sneezing. Someone started watching a children’s show without headphones. The coughing increased in intensity. Flight attendants who were previously revealing their smiling faces masked up in hopes of preventing the already inevitable. This plane is unhinged and we’re all going to get ill, except most of us already are. This is by far the most ill group of people I’ve had to share space with. Sometimes I miss the pandemic when people actually cared about not spreading illness. If you hadn’t already presumed, everyone coughing, sneezing, and dying are not masked up or covering their mouths.
After a surprisingly buttery landing in Pago Pago, we breezed through customs and agriculture, but then had to wait for well over an hour inside the hotel’s shuttle van for another possible hotel guest who never materialized. After a 20 minute drive that included a quick stop to pick up snacks or beverages at a market, we arrived at the Sadie’s By the Sea hotel, which Nicole wants to qualify as more of a motel. There are effectively just two . . .motels on Tutuila, the main island of American Samoa. The Tradewinds is marginally better than Sadie’s from what the reviews say. Sadie’s is . . .beat to hell. The water pressure was close to nonexistent, a Raid can of cockroach spray was readily available (and used within a few minutes of our arrival), and there was some debate as to whether or not we should even sleep under the sheets.
It has been a hell of a day, and combined many of the worst aspects of travel — the ones that the travel influencers conveniently leave out of their viral videos and selfie shots. This part of American Samoa is really not heavily touristed (as evidenced by just the two motels). It’s really just a jumping off point to go elsewhere. Since we are here all day tomorrow, I suspect I will have plenty of time to explain in my blog the differences between the two Samoas and why there are two and so on. Until then, just spare a thought for poor Nicole and the insignificance of her Hilton Honors Diamond status.
passports & pepto bismol 